James DavieDespite its two-decades long existence, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas still holds up as a remarkable achievement in open-world sandbox video game design. Boasting three huge fully-explorable Californian cities in the form of Los Santos, San Fierro, and Las Venturas, San Andreas was a phenomenal achievement back in 2004, and still feels incredible to this very day regardless of how many evolutions the industry has seen since. Just as important as its open-world enormity is, San Andreas has showcased some of the greatest and most unforgettable missions in the history of the franchise. Yes, some of these missions include the infamous “Wrong Side of the Tracks” and “Supply Lines” debacles, but there were far more exciting and thrilling missions that when combined, would easily snuff out the weaker and poorly thought-out ones. So without further delay… here are the 20 best missions in GTA: San Andreas!
20. Madd Dogg’s Rhymes
OG Loc is quite the pretentious wannabe rapper, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he asks you to steal the rhymebook of a proper rapper who is much more famous and well-regarded than himself. So guess what? Loc asks CJ to steal Madd Dogg’s rhyme book to demonstrate how much of a parasite Loc is, and to do this, CJ must head up to Madd Dogg’s mansion up in the Vinewood hills.
Madd Dogg’s Rhymes is a mission centered around a rarely-used aspect of GTA: San Andreas — stealth gameplay. From the moment CJ enters Madd Dogg’s mansion, he must keep quiet and skulk around, eliminating bodyguards until he snatches the rhyme book and gets the heck out of there. Yes, this mission is straightforward, and for many it’s not even worth a mention on this list, but it does feel awesome slicing guard necks and entering the mansion to begin with. Maybe it’s the nostalgia talking, but Madd Dogg’s Rhymes was a pretty cool sneaky mission to contrast with the previous ordeal where CJ had to steal a sound system after wowing the DJ with his dance moves to the tune of Hollywood Swinging by Kool & The Gang.
19. Highjack
Remember when CJ received a mysterious phone call blaring out a static and barely comprehensible voice telling him to meet in the desert? You do? Well do you remember the monster truck trial you had to partake in after you reached your destination too? Right then, so when you return after completing that weird monster truck challenge, CJ finds himself waiting about until a surprise catches him off guard. This surprise was none other than Mike Toreno, the very man CJ thought he had obliterated with a rocket launcher not too long ago because Toreno was the only remaining member of The Loco Syndicate who needed to meet his end. After CJ freaks out a bit, Toreno calms him down and explains that everything is more complicated than he realizes and Toreno himself is a government agent trying to do America’s dirty work. This leads to Toreno asking CJ to steal a tanker heading towards San Fierro, and that he’ll need a partner for the job. This partner was CJ’s future brother-in-law Caesar Vialpundo.
Together, Caesar and CJ take a motorbike and storm up the highway, and when they locate the tanker, CJ lines up his bike so that Cesar can leap to the passenger door of the truck and highjack it. After this, CJ gets into the truck and drives it to its destination to complete the mission.
Yet again, another mission that may outwardly seem like it has no place in a San Andreas top 20 list, yet it slides in there because of the intrigue of Toreno’s return, the fact you’re stealing a tanker at high-speed, and that it is an uncomplicated mission.
18. Deconstruction
CJ’s getting used to San Fierro garage, but after Kendl marches in and complains that construction workers are labeling her a hooker, CJ takes it upon himself to make them regret saying such mean things about his sister. Now all that’s left to do is use a bulldozer to destroy portable toilets and bury the foreman alive in cement. As you can tell by this description of the mission, Kendl and CJ have massively overreacted to a diss because all that was reasonable to do was to sock one of these pin-brained yokels in the mouth, however that would also make for a boring mission.
Driving the bulldozer is a bit fiddly, but crashing into and smashing up porter potties and then burying a man alive in cement is an unorthodox activity, but one that smells of the rebellious act of revenge. Maybe this mission is too straightforward and its premise is a bit weak, but hey it’s an excuse to mess with the lives of disrespectful construction workers-so it deserves credit for this at least, right?
17. Drive-Thru
If you thought Big Smoke was already a fat bastard, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Drive-Thru starts on the basis of Big Smoke wanting to eat chicken, which was legitimately mistaken for not respecting the Grove Street Families. Anyway, CJ, Ryder, Sweet, and Big Smoke drive to the nearest Cluckin Bell to order chicken meals. While Sweet, Ryder and CJ order reasonably-sized meals, Big Smoke decides to load up his order with Number 9s, Number 6, Number 7s, Number 45s, and a large soda… not forgetting the dips too!
Gotta be honest, the above paragraph alone is why this mission has made the list. The absurd premise and Big Smoke’s legendary and meme-worthy food order are so good, that nothing about the mission itself would come close to it. Oh, and speaking of the mission, which is about the Grove Street posse fending off Ballas, Smoke gorges on his food instead of defending his homies, which gives much greater insight into what would happen later on in the story.
16. Home Invasion
Burglary is an underutilized side-activity in San Andreas, but when you’re introduced to it by Ryder, it’s more enticing than just a menial activity. Ryder decides that him and CJ should burgle a crotchety Vietnam veteran’s home in East Los Santos. So Ryder and CJ hop into a Boxville and drive to this PTSD and senile-riddled old man’s abode to steal crates and other heavy equipment and place it in the back of the Boxville, trying to get out before the sun rises.
Much like Madd Dogg’s Rhymes, Home Invasion prioritizes stealth, but unlike Madd Dogg’s Rhymes, Home Invasion is about not causing much noise and you’ll be subjected to a strict time limit in order to conduct your burglary activity. There’s a meter you’ll need to pay attention that detects sound and is quite sensitive-so you need to proceed very steadily where you can. If you make too much noise then the crotchety vet will think “Vietnamese bastards” are on his roof, but if the meter fills to the top 3 times it’s a mission failure. Picking up equipment is far more risky because you won’t be able to crouch, but you can still steadily walk out and place it in the back of the Boxville.
Home Invasion is a cool mission that introduces you to burglary and there’s an actual character and context to the burgling, unlike the side-mission where you pick up the crates inside mostly-featureless and unpopulated houses. As for why this mission has made the list-it’s simply awesome knowing that burglary is in the game and the Vietnam vet is an interesting enough cameo character to put this one on the list.
15. Don Peyote
Besides being a bit of a weirdo himself, The Truth has weirdo friends too, and you’re tasked with collecting them in the desert at Arco Del Oeste. Who are these two stranded muffins then eh? Maccer and Kent Paul. Kent Paul you say? Isn’t he that British primadonna moron who is difficult for Tommy Vercetti to extract information out of in Vice City? Yep that’s him alright. Kent Paul is the manager of a Manchester band called The Gurning Chimps, and alongside lead singer Maccer, they require a pick-up from deep within the desert and to be taken back to Ken Rosenberg (another Vice City alum) at Caligula’s Casino.
Finding and picking up Kent Paul and Maccer is one thing, but when you discover Maccer’s vulgarities and the banter between him and KP then you may wish you’d left them stranded in the desert. Maccer will need a piss at one point, and he deliberately tries to make Kent Paul sick by mentioning something horrid to do with pickled eggs.
Don Peyote is one of the most memorable missions in San Andreas solely because of Maccer and his crude and gross conduct. Clearly Kent Paul and Maccer are meant to be some comedy duo because their banter is hilarious, even if the mission itself is largely about picking up and dropping off characters to their required location. There is a temporary part of the trek back to Las Venturas where CJ, Maccer and Kent Paul raise the ire of a band of hillbillies outside a sawdust joint, but otherwise it’s a straight sailing affair.
14. Learning To Fly
Forgiveness is needed here. While Learning To Fly is about CJ undertaking flying lessons in the same way he can take bike,boat and car-based lessons as side activities to make progress in San Andreas, Learning To Fly is required for story completion, and hence it is vital to learn how to master all of the aircraft available in the game. Mike Toreno implores that you learn how to fly, and if you keep resisting he will send you phone calls-each getting more and more manipulative and harsh until you finally learn to become a pilot.
While acclimating to all kinds of aircraft seems basic, controlling the planes and choppers is a bit more intricate than you might be expecting. Here’s a personal story about that:
When I first attempted the Learning To Fly mission as a 12-year-old boy, I wasn’t sure how to life the plane off the ground, and I found that really frustrating because I wanted to get to Las Venturas so badly so I can gamble in the casinos and take in the lights and sights. Eventually I learned you had to click both thumbsticks on the controller to transfer the wheels to the upholstery, then I found the plane much easier to control and actually managed to lift it off the ground without it crashing down and blowing up in a symphony of rattling explosions.
Later on, you’ll be tasked with performing barrel rolls and loop-de-loops with a stunt plane, use an attack chopper to explode a bunch of moving targets using missiles, and finally you’ll don a parachute and attempt to land in the center of a circular zone. Each lesson should take a couple of minutes most, and none of them are too difficult-but some like the helicopter-based lessons will require you to understand rocket trajectory in accordance with your chopper because the missiles fire off right beneath you, and timing the launches can be a tad tricky as a result. Altogether though, it is liberating to see San Andreas from the skies-and getting the chance to fly all the aircraft in one mission is quite corking.
The reason Learning To Fly has landed (har-har) on this list is due to Mike Toreno’s incessant reminders that get more and more unhinged, and the mission helps you really get to grips with planes later on in the game when they are required. Some might not call it a proper mission, but Learning To Fly is important for progress in San Andreas.
13. Body Harvest
There’s nothing like mowing down flesh and bones in the morning, which is surely a thought that travels through The Truth’s head like his flowery hippie-mobile driving leisurely towards San Fierro. Anyway, Officer Tenpenny introduces you to The Truth while getting high off a bong and listening to Nautilus by Bob James.
Ok, let’s get this out of the way first, getting high while listening to Nautilus by Bob James is quite a rad thing to do. Go listen to Nautilus and try not to resist the temptation to get high. The song is quite appropriate for driving around San Fierro in the rain because it’s quite mellow and chill, though with CJ and Tenpenny in the same room together, it doesn’t seem very chill-but then The Truth is present to even things out. Tenpenny wants CJ to pay The Truth, which was confusing to CJ at first until The Truth explains that there are folks over by the ridge that aren’t respecting his peace, and the payment isn’t actual money it’s just a Combine Harvester
As for the mission it is a straightforward affair where you enter a farm, locate a Combine Harvester, steal that Combine Harvester, then turn a bunch of hillbillies to mulch by running them over and then proceeding to store it in a lock-up to end the mission. Yes it is super-straightforward, but mowing hillbillies with a rarely-seen vehicle is quite a delight, even if the handling and awkward size and shape of this human mulcher will make it a little bit challenging to get a handle on.
If carving up hillbillies and getting high on The Truth’s supply is your thing, then Body Harvest is a pretty cool mission-so long as you don’t get overwhelmed by those hillbillies and their hunting rifles.
Also, the title of the mission is a reference to the old PS1 game Body Harvest-a game that inspired the GTA franchise.
12. Are You Going To San Fierro?
Wait, this mission isn’t among the best, is it? Though it’s understandable that Are You Going To San Fierro isn’t all that exciting as a mission, it is quite chill-like a road trip with a hippie that just seems very cool, especially considering that this road trip is taking you to a new city in San Andreas and away from Catalina and the hillbillies in the countryside.
This mission starts with CJ giving The Truth his money, but when helicopters are heard, The Truth picks up his flamethrower and gives you one as well because it’s time to burn a whole lot of weed plants. You must destroy all the weed plants in under 5 and a half minutes- so you gotta ensure to use the flames to scorch every row of plants you find. After you’ve successfully burned down all the weed, The Truth gives you a rocket launcher to take down those skyward pigs-then you get into The Truth’s hippie waggon and drive to San Fierro. The Truth tells you the vehicle runs on cooking oil and is held together by a macrame hammock-so there are some bizarre insights for you. Once you arrive at the garage you acquired for winning a race against Claude in the countryside, the mission is complete.
11. Reuniting The Families
Sweet rallies his Grove Street troops to tell them to reunite the families and keep the “base” off the streets-as in drugs of course. Together, the crew of CJ, Sweet, Big Smoke and Ryder head to the Jefferson Motel to meet with representatives of the Seville Boulevard Families and Temple Drive Families, though only one representative from each family is allowed to attend-and Sweet has practically chosen himself as the representative of Grove Street Families being its leader and all. Anyway, besides Ryder’s skepticism about the other families turning out to be hostile, CJ and Big Smoke feel good about the meeting… right up until a police chopper appears and SWAT forces start descending down ropes, now you gotta take em out and find Sweet before he finds himself in trouble.
CJ essentially cleans out the hotel rooms and corridors of all the police resistance. Some of the armed SWAT members roll out from doorways from hotel rooms and one or two try to shoot you from vents on ceilings, but the first part of the mission is straightforward if a little tough. Finding Sweet is quite easy after you’ve eliminated every squaddie you happen across, and together you make your way to the rooftop whilst evading a chopper with SWAT standing and shooting from it.
Once you get off the roof, your car pulls up courtesy of Big Smoke and Ryder who let you in, but as you try to escape a heap of police cars and attack choppers chase you down in hot pursuit. You proceed with the mission in a first-person on-rails state, where you’re furiously shooting every cop car and fending off daredevil policemen who leap onto your car. Eventually CJ’s AK-47 is jammed and Big Smoke is forced to plow through a roadblock and faces a police helicopter, it’s now a fight between car and rota blade, but who will win? The chopper veers its rotor blades upwards and just when you think that CJ is going to be diced up into mulch, only the policeman on the front of the windshield is sliced up. The only remaining bit of drama is Smoke’s brakes are out, so the car hurtles and crashes into a billboard showing a salacious advert for the fictional version Sprite, the crudely-named Sprunk, then the car flies into a tanker causing a huge explosion. Thankfully all GSF members bailed before the explosive devastation.
The epicness of this mission alone makes it exciting and one of the best missions in San Andreas. The reasons why it’s not a top 10 mission is because of the repetitive hotel police shootout, and we don’t see the other members who split from Grove Street to form their own gangs. Still it was a taste of things to come… oh jeeze that’s what it said on that Sprunk billboard, that was so naughty of me!
10. N.O.E
Alright, your objections have been noted, but regardless of how tough N.O.E is, there’s a sophistication surrounding it-must be because it’s a risky Mike Toreno mission, but it is a great challenge — actually perhaps one of if not the most challenging mission in GTA: San Andreas. Your task is to drop off a package by flying a plane from the desert to The Badlands. The catch is you have to fly as low as possible to prevent radar detection-which means you’ll be bombarded with missiles if you fly too high. Yes, this mission will be a tough one, but there’s no other mission like this in the game, and it is therefore one of the best.
The best way to tackle N.O.E besides flying low as possible, is using the in-game map to find the quickest and/or safest route to fly. You definitely do not want to be crashing into huge trees and hearing the sound of multiple airplane explosions, so you gotta find a way to get through them and safely towards the red corona to drop off the equipment to Toreno’s men. Keeping the plane aligned can be tricky and fiddly, but it is very gratifying to complete N.O.E, and that sense of satisfaction more than anything makes it a great mission, even if it may cause you to retry multiple times.
Fun fact-N.O.E; stands for Nap of the Earth, which is a low-altitude flight tactic used by the military when engaged with heavy threats.
9. Stowaway
Dang it’s easy to love a Mike Toreno mission isn’t it? Stowaway is a brief and uncomplicated mission, but one that seems really awesome and unique when you consider that not only is it a Mike Toreno mission slathered in that delicious governmental intrigue, but the mission takes place almost exclusively on a plane.
The mission begins with a cutscene where CJ is hunkering down behind boxes watching government agents loading crates into pickup trucks, and then in sneaky Toreno fashion, he hunkers down besides CJ and starts talking, spooking CJ in the process. Toreno wants you to waste these government officials due to their rogue bedlam ways. Toreno and his allies simply don’t like it when people in his line of work try taking control for themselves because him and his people want all the authority, so he wants CJ to get rid of them because if he doesn’t he’ll “cause a tinder box situation all over Latin America,” which is very high stakes indeed.
CJ first has to steal himself a motorbike and then as fast as he can, ride up a ramp and onto a plane before that plane takes off, while dodging barrels and machine gun fire from agents on the ground. Once inside the plane, CJ needs to wipe out a bunch of agents with a melee weapon, nab a parachute, plant a bomb, and then dive out of the plane and open said parachute to complete the mission.
While you could argue that the mission is too short, there are several reasons why it’s definitely deserving of a top 10 spot. Firstly it’s got that juicy governmental intrigue about it, which is what gives depth to the Toreno missions. Secondly, planting the bomb and diving out of the plane while it explodes is badass, and thirdly there are a couple of cool Mission Fail scenes-for example if CJ doesn’t open his parachute a scene will trigger where he smash lands on the roof of a vehicle. So yes, Stowaway might be a mission that lasts only a few minutes, but every minute is very satisfying.
8. Freefall
It’s important to point out before we get into why Freefall is such a great mission, that Maccer was “peaking on the blood pressure alone” while hanging upside down with a disgusted Kent Paul. Once again, Maccer and Kent Paul’s chemistry brings a funny side to a mission that is excellent both conceptually and in execution.
While Salvatore Leone is keeping Kent Paul, Maccer and Ken Rosenberg under his control, CJ introduces himself, informing Salvatore that he knew his son when CJ worked in Liberty City. Accepting of the fact that CJ knows his son, Salvatore encourages CJ in, and Ken speaks highly of CJ’s skills regarding getting work done for his clients. Convinced that CJ won’t let him down, Salvatore wants CJ to intercept Forelli gang members on a plane who are heading to Las Venturas to whack Salvatore.
So off CJ goes to the Las Venturas International Airport to fly a ditty little plane high up into the blue sky with its rolling clouds until you spot a jet heading in the opposite direction with a red corona indicating where you need to position your plane into. After this CJ dives from his plane and into the jet to dispose of several Forelli gangsters, then you fly the jet back to Las Venturas to complete the mission.
Much like with Toreno’s tasks, Freefall is smothered in intrigue-especially if you find Mafia influence in Las Venturas casinos to be of particular interest to you. The only thing that would’ve made this mission better is if you could dive from your plane towards the jet yourself, but regardless this sky high counter-hit is a spicy endeavor.
7. Black Project
The Truth is a whacky hippie guy, but he’s somebody who wants CJ to be free of governmental forces. In the spirit of liberty, The Truth asks Carl to steal the special “Black Project” from the dangerous and guard-loaded Area 69 base and bunker. If you aren’t in the know, when you approach Area 69 whilst roaming about outside of missions, you will be subjected to an onslaught of heavy fire or guided missiles if your plane happens to swoop by overhead. However, during this mission you’re going to need to tread very carefully, otherwise you’ll become their victim.
If you thought Vertical Bird was like a Metal Gear Solid mission, The Black Project can feel like that as well. Infiltrating the Area 69 base needs careful planning because there are are searchlights and heavily-armed military men waiting to unload their assault riffle ammunition right into Carl’s anatomy. You do have access to a sniper rifle you can use to stealthily pick off army men on the ground and in the watch towers, and you can fire at the search lights to shatter the glass and thus turn that light off. You’re also given thermal goggles to see your foes in the dark, so there are enough tools to help you get the job done efficiently.
Once inside the the bunker you’ll be hunted down and the alarm system goes off, so you need to hurry up and steal The Black Project before they snuff you. When you’ve discovered The Black Project and realize its a jetpack, you can blast your way up and out of the bunker before giving to The Truth to herald a successful mission.
Just to note, The Truth quickly drives away from you before you invade Area 69, and when you give him the jetpack at the end he drives away fast. Presumably, he wants nothing to do with being hunted down by the military, and gets CJ to do his dirty work. The Truth may seem to be the antithesis of Mike Toreno, but he still get Carl to do some highly dangerous missions, and The Truth does profit from CJ’s work too-so he isn’t quite a well-meaning as you may believe.
6. Vertical Bird
Back to our reliable and trusty Mike Toreno. Vertical Bird has just about everything a great GTA mission needs. It starts with Maccer doing his ghastly business to pull you into some comic relief as CJ and company are in the recording studio as Madd Dogg records his new album. All of a sudden the sound cuts out and Toreno is heard from the sound system and requests that Carl meets him outside because he wants him carry out another favor. After a drive to the outskirts of the countryside in the pouring rain, Toreno instructs you to steal a Hydra jet on a runaway atop a ship. CJ’s getting tired of these Toreno jobs, but Toreno’s lewd pep talk, and his crusade to save his brother Sweet from prison encourages him to allay his fears.
First things first, CJ must take a nearby speedboat to the backside of the ship docked in the waters near San Fierro, and once you’ve entered and parked the boat, you can either go in guns blazing, or find a silenced pistol and eliminate guards silently. You need to be really careful because if you alert guards then they’ll give you a tough time as you proceed towards stealing the Hydra.
Once you reach the landing pad and steal the Hydra successfully, then you have to fly it while taking out a flotilla of airships aiming to destroy you, so you give em all the missiles they can handle until they’ve all been obliterated. CJ then gets in contact with Toreno and wants to know where to safely land the Hydra, but Toreno says it’s his problem now and thus you land it where the game instructs you to land it before the mission ends successfully.
Obviously the reason Vertical Bird is on this here list is because it’s not only a Mike Toreno mission, it’s arguably the best Mike Toreno mission of them all. Taking a Hydra from a heavily guarded ship is highly risky and immensely dangerous, but it’s one of the most thrilling experiences San Andreas has to offer-so that’s all the explanation you need really.
5. The Green Sabre
Possibly the most important and significant mission in San Andreas, The Green Sabre is a mission that single-handedly twists CJ’s story, allowing him to understand what true loyalty is, and how greater powers and influence can corrupt those you love most. The Green Sabre is the final mission during the introductory phase of San Andreas, and plants the seed for everything moving forward.
The opening cutscene shows Sweet rallying his troops as they’re preparing to go to war with The Ballas. Sweet says he should’ve never doubted CJ, and the crew look to take back what is there’s. However, outside CJ receives a phone call from Caesar Vialpando, who desperately insists that CJ go meet him under the Mulholland Intersection. CJ races to this location and gets into a parked car where Caesar is seated. At first CJ temporarily feels like he’s wasted his time because nothing’s happening in front of him. He is told to have a hard look at a garage on the opposite side of where they’re parked. They see a few Ballas hanging about, which CJ didn’t give a hoot about. All of a sudden CJ then spots Ryder, then Big Smoke, and eventually C.R.A.S.H as they open up the garage door to reveal the green Sabre, the same one that was spotted during a drive-by shooting that murdered Beverley Johnson, CJ’s mother.
After internalizing the heaviness of the betrayal, CJ suddenly realizes that Sweet and the Grove Street posse have run into a trap, so he races to them and defends them from a Ballas onslaught. When CJ finds Sweet he has been wounded by gunfire from Ballas, and tells him that Smoke has turned on them. CJ attempts to eviscerate all The Balls but the police turn up and both CJ and Sweet are arrested and separated. While Sweet is transferred to a prison hospital to have his wounds attended to, CJ is taken in by Tenpenny and Pulaski, placed in the back of a police car, and then driven out to the countryside. Now you’re truly on the next part of your journey in San Andreas.
You could argue that the mission itself is nothing special, but from a story standpoint it is the most revealing mission in the entire game-and that alone places it this high up the list.
4. The Da Nang Thang
Woozie discovers that gang rivals The Da Nang Boys are arriving to San Fierro on a container ship, and CJ offers to help out by joining Woozie’s comrades on the helicopter to skulk out this ship, and then open fire on the ship until the chopper explodes, forcing CJ to swim aboard the the container ship and take out all the Da Nang boys.
The Da Nang Thang is a particularly enjoyable mission because climbing over all the containers and taking out all the hostiles is more challenging than you think. Trying to take cover and figure out where enemy fire is coming from can be tough, but it is manageable if you have the ammo and know the enemy’s whereabouts. Once you’ve disposed of all the Da Nang boys, you find a container with refugees inside you need to break open using your gun, and you discover that there’s a dangerous katana-wielding sword master called The Snakehead, who is responsible for tricking the men you find into holding them captive inside the container. You go and meet The Snakehead and he throws you a katana and you both fight honorably until one of you is slain. Of course CJ is victorious. After this you meet the refugees as the group prepare to escape the container ship in dinghies. They give their thanks and complete your mission.
What impresses most about The Da Nang Thang is that you’re invading a cruise ship and have a duel with a katana sword. Doesn’t seem like much these days, but the layers, size and ambition of this mission feels ample, and it is the best mission you undertake in San Fierro.
3. Saint Mark’s Bistro
Returning to Liberty City is something no Grand Theft Auto player would’ve expected at all when they started playing GTA: San Andreas, so when Salvatore Leone wants you to back to Liberty City (because CJ already spent 5 years there remember) to eliminate Forelli goons at the Saint Mark’s Bistro, then you abide and do just that. Granted it’s not a complex mission, but the novelty of returning to Liberty City is such that it makes San Andreas feel weightier, and we likely assumed at the time that it wouldn’t be possible for such a mission to take place-but it did.
Another detail about this mission is that Leone wants you to get rid of Ken Rosenberg, Kent Paul and Maccer, presumably by whacking them. Carl doesn’t whack them, but instead gets them to flee out of town because something even beefier is about to be cooked up. Leone doesn’t know about this of course, so he is pleased that he both took care of the Forelli goons and (supposedly) those three associates already mentioned.
2. Breaking The Bank At Caligula’s
That something beefy mentioned in the previous entry was referring to this mission. For a while before this mission takes place, CJ, Woozie and company have planned to conduct a heist on Caligula’s casino. CJ has had to photograph blueprints, steal police bikes, an armored car and a crane helicopter, sabotage a dam with explosives, and court a casino worker for a keycard all in the lead-up to this masterpiece of a mission. Of course your deeds for Salvatore Leone were all a front to get in closer and build trust up, so that the heist can be pulled off with greater ease.
To start you enter Caligula’s Casino dressed as a croupier and use the keycard to gain access to the back area of the casino. From here you enter the generator room, throw some gas grenades down a ventilation frill on the back wall to knock out a few guards. Next, you must use your swipe card again to get down to the service bay and open the shutters to let the fleet of armored vans through containing your heist squad. You’ll be given seven minutes to grab the cash and get it all back to the crew so they can make their escape. There are plenty of guards to shoot down and you’ll have to return to the generator room to shut them down after some goons try to get the power back on. Once you’ve eliminated everybody it’s time to head for the room and use your parachute to dive onto another building where a police helicopter is perched, and you fly that out to the desert to regroup with your posse, and give Zero a little punch in his face for telling Berkley about the heist. After the mission Salvatore phones you and swears revenge on you, but you got “expensive trash” to spend money on, so it doesn’t matter to CJ.
There is no mission in San Andreas with enough prep work or sense of enormity as Breaking The Bank at Caligula’s. It’s an operation that has been built on the foundation of several key missions beforehand, but pulling off this heist is very gratifying, especially when you stick it to Salvatore Leone and his mob boss gangster ways of trying to muscle in on casino business and making everyone intimidated by his presence. Breaking The Bank At Caligula’s is the mission Las Venturas was built for, and is the second best mission in the entire game-but one other barely pips it.
1. Just Business
Here it is, the single best mission in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, and you wouldn’t see this one coming. You think that Big Smoke wanting to take you for a drive would just lead to more dealing with the Vagos, but instead you and Smoke are about to get into “some big shit” with the Russians, and boy, oh Smoke ain’t kidding about that. Smoke heads inside of a building to confront the Russians, but as CJ was chatting up a lady outside, Smoke screams for your help. Now you take out all the Russians in that building and continue the battle outside. Once all the Russians have been eliminated, the true fun begins.
Smoke hops on a motorbike and tells you to get on. Smoke drives down a spiral, and then CJ has to mow down every Russian and every Russian vehicle he sees in order to defend Big Smoke. Soon a huge car transporter lorry enters the fray and Big Smoke takes a ramp up and rides along some well-positioned parked busses. You and Smoke encounter a roadblock full of Russians shooting at you along with their cars blocking the way forwards. Smoke quickly rides down and into a storm drain, and CJ continues to thwart oncoming Russian vehicles by spraying as many SMG bullets at them as he can until the vehicles explode. Eventually Smoke rides up the back of the car transporter lorry and a symphony of explosions occur, after a while, Smoke shouts at CJ to break an oncoming gate open while still being chased down. After disposing of the remaining Russians Smoke and CJ are in the clear, and they both split up and this thrilling mission comes to its conclusion.
Yes it’s not the longest missions, and nor is it the most dressed-up mission either, but it is an incredibly exciting mission for what it is, and the clear reference to Terminator 2: Judgment Day is delicious. Sometimes the simplest missions can be the greatest, and that is why Just Business is the best main story mission in GTA: San Andreas.